


Stages

by TheLoneStar



Series: Tales of Termina [8]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Depression, Gen, Internal Monologue, Introspection, Mental Health Issues, No Dialogue, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21906325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLoneStar/pseuds/TheLoneStar
Summary: And so, as Link lingered in the land of the dead, he made his realization.He was never going to escape.Termina was his prison.It didn’t matter how hard he tried; Link would never get back to Hyrule.
Relationships: Link & Tatl (Legend of Zelda), Link & Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Link/Malon (Legend of Zelda)
Series: Tales of Termina [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323926
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	Stages

Link had almost felt disgust for the citizens of Clock Town.

At least, he did when he first arrived in Termina.

Hanging above their heads was the Moon. Massive and hateful with leering orange eyes, it was absolutely impossible to miss. Yet the people walked about and focused on their daily tasks and shopping and socializing and their jobs and who even cared? The Moon was falling, and the entire town would be reduced to ash and bone yet so few seemed to even acknowledge it!

How could they be so foolish? So blind to the reality set before them? A small part of Link wanted to yell at the bustling crowds that they had to evacuate, that they had to run as far away as possible if they wanted to survive.

It would have been a waste of energy, and Link knew it.

The worst part of it all was that Link wasn’t free of such foolishly optimistic hopes either. During his First Cycle in Termina, he too was in denial in his own way. He refused to think about the power of the foe he had to face, the Skull Kid and the strange power he commanded that could pull down something so massive. He refused to think about the possibility of failure and that he could very well end up dead. Finally, he refused to think about the notion he could be in Termina for more than the three days assigned to him by that mysterious salesman.

All he focused on was moving forward. So he could return home.

Worse than all of that was his refusal to believe in the copies of those he had met in Hyrule. He kept coming up with excuses, each one more desperate than the last, that these lookalikes were simply coincidences or in fact the same people as the ones in Hyrule. They just so happened to arrive at the same land that Link winded up arriving at after falling into a tree within the Lost Woods. The excuses were pathetic, but he couldn’t help himself.

It was when he met a man that looked exactly like Ingo did he finally accept what was going on even if he didn’t fully understand it. Why were there copies here in this far-off land? Where did they come from? He never found a concrete answer to that, and eventually tried to ignore it. Yet even near the end of his adventure, the concept itched at the back of his brain.

Even long after he started on his second quest, Link sometimes tried to convince himself it was all an awful dream. He denied the reality of the situation and thought perhaps one day he’d wake up and be back in the castle with Zelda or at the ranch with Malon. Naturally, it ended in more misery and nothing else. Link felt foolish for these thoughts and hopes, finding them childish and wasteful…

But he couldn’t help himself.

When Tatl started to treat him better after his fever, Link tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. He tried to rationalize it as the fairy finding a new way to get under his skin. It had to be, right? Because if she was being sincere, it meant their inevitable separation would be a painful one and Link simply didn’t want to get hurt again.

He felt like a pathetic, scared child.

Eventually, he stopped pretending that Termina was some world of illusions, or that Tatl wasn’t sincere in her newfound kindness. This was the reality he was in, and no amount of wishful thinking could ever change that. It still pained him whenever he saw the people of Clock Town mill about on the First Day, acting as though all was right with the world…

\---

Link could feel his blood boiling when he made his way to the Southern Swamp for the first time. With his mask intact, his inner fury was hidden from those who saw him. Even Tatl was unaware of the anger blooming within the young boy.

At first it was despair that filled him when he became aware he had to embark on another quest. One he never asked for or wanted. One he almost literally stumbled into. That despair soon made way to an inner rage after he passed by the South Clock Town guard. As childish as it sounded, he couldn’t stop thinking about how it just wasn’t fair that this was happening to him again!

As he always tried to do those days, Link kept his anger as hidden as possible. He kept himself composed, barely even balling his fists as he walked South. When he spoke, his voice was even and flat, just as it usually was when his mask was on.

It didn’t take long for Tatl to notice Link’s particular quirk. As a Deku, he couldn’t change his facial expression even if he tried. The fairy probably wasn’t paying very close attention back then either. After becoming a Hylian again, however, it became more than clear how unusually blank and stoic the child was.

Tatl resonated her own anger, one that Link could practically feel. He imagined it was for the same reason he too felt so much rage. Her insults became far more personal and cruel, whereas they were rather generic and surface-level during their First Cycle together. The awful fairy quickly started to point out how bizarre Link was. How _creepy_ he was. Within days she compared him to a lifeless doll and laughed at him.

A small part of him wanted to argue.

He wasn’t a doll!

He felt!

He felt everything others did!

But why should he get to express himself?

When did he earn that?

Instead, he just gave the nasty fairy the silent treatment.

The Dekus of the Swamp were not very different from the immature, jealous Dekus of the Lost Woods. Angry and hateful towards those that are different from them. Lashing out at those without pausing to consider their actions.

Link first saw the Deku King in the midst of a maddened dance.

Screaming. Thrashing. Ranting. Raving. Prosecuting.

It was a sickening sight, and a terrifying one. For a brief moment, the bobbing orange bulb on the monarch’s head looked like the eye of a curse that Link slayed two years ago, the one that claimed his father. He was thankful that Tatl didn’t notice him flinch and take a step back, and his Deku flesh couldn’t pale from the shock nor could he put on a face that showed the momentary horror within him.

He was so disgusted in his weakness.

His fury waned as time went on. One could only hold on to rage for so long before it started to slip. It was when the twisted jungle warrior was pitted against Link did it vanish for good. Their anger clashed just as their blades did as the maddened swordsman spewed his cursed enchantments.

In the end, Link’s rage won.

Though he kept it under wraps, just like most things, he felt a sense of relief when the poisoned waters of the swamp cleared.

His anger ebbed away.

\---

Link did not take learning that the Giants would not remain freed well at all.

Several times, he went and cleansed the Southern Swamp, only to find it returned to its previous state when he reset the clock. The water was poisoned, the Deku Kingdom was enraged, Odolwa was back with his mask in his possession.

Try as he might, Link could not keep the deity freed. The shackles of time had the Giant bound and imprisoned and under the thumb of the maddened warrior that danced and sang beneath the Swamp’s waters. He couldn’t just keep going back endlessly, hoping that the next time around would be the one to cause the Giant to be truly freed

So, he moved North.

The biting winds of the Mountains were almost an improvement over the fool’s errand of trying to permanently save the Giant to the South. Link would rather face the ice and snow along with the illness that such conditions brought him. Compared to the disappointment of his fruitless efforts to the South, they were practically welcomed.

Despite this, by this point Link was already beyond exhausted, even with the Break Cycles he and Tatl got to have. They almost didn’t seem to help at all. Each time he ventured out of Clock Town, the fatigue would just pile onto him as if he hadn’t gotten any sort of rest.

But he couldn’t stop, he had to go North to where the Gorons lived and save them too. He had to save them even if time itself wouldn’t allow them to remain that way.

Eternal Winter was there, gnawing at the poor, kindly race that dwelled in the Mountains. Their cries for their hero, Darmani III, fell on deaf ears. No matter how loudly they shouted and pleaded, the winds of the Mountains swallowed them up like a greedy beast. The hero was but a phantom, forced to watch as his people shivered and froze in the unrelenting cold.

The Goron’s spirit was filled with regret and shame at his passing. He could hardly bare to watch his people suffer but was unable to do anything about it. The poor soul could not even be heard by his people, the hero unable to so much as offer words of comfort to his race.

Link, at least, could heal the restless and suffering spirit. He comforted the fallen warrior and turned him into another mask imbued with a soul. It filled Link with a sort of guilt that he had to pretend to be a great hero that the Gorons practically worshipped, seeing their eyes light up whenever the False Darmani entered a room or even glanced their way.

He was envious of the hero.

No, it wasn’t because he was viewed as a hero when disguised as Darmani. Link knew he was no hero and never would be. He was but a revolting child that didn’t even deserve friends. Fame was simply never something he wanted at any point in his life, and nothing in Termina ever changed that.

It was Darmani’s fate that made Link jealous.

The Hero of the Gorons got to rest in peace and hand the torch on to another. His people still needed him, he still had unfinished business, but he didn’t have to worry about it anymore. Link did. The child was forced to take on the responsibilities of a grown adult on top of all the other things he had to accomplish.

Link wanted that fate.

He wanted to simply hand on his duties to someone more capable than him and then get to rest. 

Back during his adventure in Hyrule, he thought about it constantly. Why did _he_ have to go on a dangerous quest? Were there no adults that could do it instead? Apparently not. It was him and him alone that was meant to save the kingdom, not that he was able to accomplish that.

He recalled his cherished fairy telling him that it was a horrible situation, but one he could not escape. Apparently the Golden Goddesses saw fit that he sacrifice his body and his wits for a land he never even called his home until his quest was over and his mind had been fractured.

In Termina, Link went through the same exact thoughts again. Why was he the only one in the entire land that was able to put up any fight against the Skull Kid? He was there personally when the Moon was minutes from hitting Clock Town, so he knew no one else would step in on their own. He also never met anyone that would make a good replacement either.

Once more, all the responsibilities fell on him.

Link wasn’t one to pray to gods or other deities. In fact, he never did it all before entering Termina. The guardian of his forest never expected treatment like that from his children. He wasn’t even aware of the concept of worship or prayer until he started to learn more about the gods of Hyrule. It was something he found rather unusual and didn’t pay the concept much mind.

Yet, after one particularly bad visit to Snowhead, Link found himself silently praying. He prayed to Hylia. To Nayru, Farore, Din, even the Giants of Termina. Anyone or anything that would listen. He prayed from the bottom of his heart to escape the awful world he found himself in. To whatever force may listen to him, he begged to be taken back to Hyrule; he wanted the next time he played the Song of Time to be what merged him with his past self. Just as another Princess Zelda did to him two years in the past, yet five in the future. He would do anything, _anything_ , to be freed from the responsibilities thrust upon him.

No one listened.

\---

Romani’s Ranch hit Link hard. Harder than it should have, in his eyes. Once more a deep feeling of disgust in himself radiated through his body. He nearly broke from seeing someone that looked like her. Like Malon. How could he let something get to him like that?

As he went West, he saw the ocean in person for the first time, feeling an intense sense of fear just from looking at the endless water. Once more, he healed a restless soul and gained a mask form it.

However, Mikau was still alive when Link found him. The son of the Deku Butler and Darmani were long dead before Link found them. No action of his could save their lives. Mikau…he could have saved him. If he had been faster…stronger…he could have maybe saved the Zora.

But he couldn’t. He thought back to how Zelda called him the Hero of Time and how he despised being referred to as such. It was like a cruel joke, but he knew the Princess meant it as a kindness.

What kind of hero couldn’t save a single Zora?

Things became worse when Link encountered Lulu for the first time. While he wasn’t as close to Ruto as he was to Malon, seeing her still was too much after everything that had happened in that one Cycle. So, like a coward, he retreated back to Clock Town after reversing time once more.

He even broke down soon after, crying for the first time since entering Termina as he told Tatl about his old fairy companion.

He was pathetic.

Even several Cycles later, he felt awful about those events. Not only that, but his already dreary mood started to worsen as he made attempts to cleanse the Great Bay. It was harder than he had anticipated, making little progress even after several attempts were made.

Lulu and her plight struck Link deep in his heart. The mother-to-be was in such a state of shock and misery that she was unable to even talk. Link recalled some days during his two year recovery where his own voice seemed to die out. Try as he might, he just couldn’t muster the will to speak. Not even he really understood it. The Zora singer would end up being one of the residents of Termina that the boy found himself pitying the most. If only because he could relate to her exact feelings to some extent.

Sitting on the warm sands of the West did little to soothe the coldness Link kept feeling at every waking moment. A harsh numbness spread through him, and he found it harder to move about or attempt his quest. No amount he rest he got seemed to fix it. The numb feeling seemed to just worsen, and he started to even feel less real.

He sat on the beach, Tatl sitting on his shoulder as he gazed out at the stretch of ocean before him. Despite it being around noon on the First Day, he felt cold and no amount of heat seemed to help him. Sticking his hands in the hot sand around him wouldn’t rid himself of the cold and it didn’t do enough to be rid of the numbness. Link had dealt with these sorts of feelings for years, so he knew it was fruitless to try and make them better. The boy just couldn’t help but try anyway.

The feelings never truly went away, but he had been so preoccupied with other things in Termina that he didn’t notice them quite so strongly. Now that they seemed to be hitting harder than they had in a long while, he felt almost paralyzed from his own depression.

Blue eyes stared towards the almost equally blue field that seemed to go on forever. In the castle, Zelda had told Link about oceans and islands when he pointed them out to her in the books he flipped through. Yet the child saw no land masses on the horizon no matter how hard he looked. It made him wonder if there was actually anything out there.

There were times where Link considered just letting the tide take him away. He could just swim out and let the sea carry him somewhere else. Somewhere that wasn’t Termina. A place where he could escape the Moon and all the responsibilities he had. Naturally, he would never do such a thing like try and escape Termina before it was saved. No matter how far Link fell, he’d never abandon the duties forced upon him.

Of course, Link wasn’t stupid. Even with how little he knew of oceans, he was aware he wouldn’t be taken to another island or anything of the sort. He knew quite well if he just let the ocean carry him off, he’d soon die.

It didn’t stop those urges from cropping up, though.

\---

Ikana Canyon was the worst area in Termina. There wasn’t a single place, from the poisoned waters of the South, to the most frigid areas of the North, to the deep and dark waters of the West, that he dreaded more than the entirety of the East.

It was a land where the dead walked, and the number of living souls could literally be counted on one hand. A place of nightmares that brought up memories of the Shadow Temple in Link’s mind. He had to keep himself steeled and composed at all times, lest he suffer from panic attacks from those grueling memories.

The young boy had to parade around as various ghosts and spirits in order to get through the area. The air itself reeked of rot and decay, and the atmosphere was oppressive as if Link was covered in a heavy tarp. These sorts of feelings and sensations lingered no matter how like he and Tatl stayed there. Only the cleansing of the Stone Tower could dispel the awful atmosphere of the Canyon.

A small part of him envied the dead, at least the ones he was able to put at rest. They were able to rest eternally from small actions such as the Gibdos in the Well. All Link had to do was give them the items they craved, and they were able to rest in peace. The worst offenders were the Stalchildren. After donning the Captain’s Hat, Link simply told them to rest…and then they just did it. Simple as that. Like Darmani, the young boy felt pangs of jealousy whenever he granted the skeletal children their eternal sleep.

Link came to a conclusion when he was in Ikana Canyon. It was when he tried to obtain the Perfect Cycle, a Cycle where he helped and saved everyone he had come across in his journey to the best of his ability. No matter how hard he tried, though, it never ended well. Something would always go wrong and he’d have to start over.

The boy never realized how many times he had tried, having lost track at around fifty Cycles where he attempted to fix everything. All it took was a ten minute holdup to ruin everything. Taking too long to travel from one location to another, Link having trouble fighting a certain monster, exhaustion or hunger hitting him at the wrong time, a nap that lasted longer than it should have. All these only had to happen once in an attempt to make all the efforts of that Cycle meaningless.

And so, as Link lingered in the land of the dead, he made his realization.

He was never going to escape.

Termina was his prison.

It didn’t matter how hard he tried; Link would never get back to Hyrule.

This was a fact that Link had come to accept as he sat by the dead tree near the unusual Music Box House. That Cycle was another failure, Link and Tatl both having passed out and slept for several hours, ruining everything. The boy opted to sit and stare off into the distance rather than reset things right away as he pondered everything.

His acceptance came with a heavy heart, and Link almost let his mask break once more as it dawned on him. So badly he wanted to return. He needed to see his friends again, to go back to the girl he loved, to find Navi…

But he never would.

Except…

He couldn’t stop trying.

Link may have accepted he would be stuck, but he wouldn’t stop fighting! What would his friends think of him if they somehow found out he just sat down and gave up? How could he think he’d ever become worthy of having Navi with him again if he just shrugged his shoulders and decided to stop trying?

He knew it was a fruitless endeavor, but Link would never be able to live with the guilt if he gave up along with it. As pointless as he was, he would keep going, doing everything he could to escape Termina and return where he belonged.

With a newfound desire to press on, even if it would end in failure, Link stood up and dusted himself off. Raising his Ocarina to his lips, he played the Song of Time and the clock reversed once more…

\---

Link’s eyes opened, taking in the grey ceiling of the room he was in as he lied in a very comfortable bed.

That was…unusual. This wasn’t the Knife Chamber. In fact, Link wasn’t anywhere in Termina that he would fall asleep in. He sat up and looked around, noting he wasn’t in his usual outfit. He was in a sleeping gown of sorts. His gear wasn’t anywhere in the room, nor was Tatl as far as he could see. Calling out to her several times, he received no response.

Panic started to rise within the boy, unsure of what he should do. There didn’t seem to be any immediate danger, yet he was vulnerable, and his fairy companion was nowhere to be found! He looked around the room more before acting, noticing how familiar it seemed. Could it be that he was-

The door to the room opened and a young girl entered. She was a year older than him with brilliant blue eyes. The eyes looked upon Link in barely hidden pity, a small frown on her otherwise unblemished face. She told the boy the guards heard him yelling something and she had been alerted as such. The girl wanted to know if he was okay.

Stunned, Link stared at her. He had never seen this girl in Termina before. She looked exactly like Zelda. Sounded just like her too. Frowning deeper, the girl once more tried to ask how Link was feeling, for him to please answer her. She even addressed him by name.

She looked like Zelda…but she couldn’t possibly be. No. The Princess was back in Hyrule, awaiting Link’s return. Somehow this familiar looking stranger even knew his identity, despite him not saying a word to her. Denial gripped the confused boy as he continued to stare. He couldn’t be with the Princess unless he was back home, and he knew that couldn’t be possible.

After all, he’d never escape from Termina.

He had accepted that already.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to get one last addition to this series in before the end of the year, so here we are. I also wanted to try something a bit different, making a story with absolutely no dialogue in it at all. Made things a bit difficult in terms of making it a decent length. I don't know when the next entry in Tales of Termina will come, but more will come one day.
> 
> If it wasn't obvious, this is based off of the "Five Stages of Grief" theory with Majora's Mask. While I don't agree with theories that Link is dead or Termina is some sort of afterlife, I thought it'd make an interesting basis for a story and went with it anyway. With a twist or two included, of course.
> 
> In any case, please tell me what you think. Whether it be some sort of praise or criticism, all comments are welcome.


End file.
